Finance and marriage is a hot topic for most married couples, and with good reason: money is one of the most crucial aspects of marriage. According to research, money is one of the major causes of divorce and stress, which is why it’s good news that we have a list of mistakes and pitfalls to avoid.
I know it’s a big change to go from being single and doing everything on your own consulting no one to being married and realising you have to talk about money with your partner.
At least, it was a big change for me, and I had to learn to talk about money with my spouse. It’s been a game-changer for me, so much so that I wouldn’t have it any other way.
If you don’t make time to talk about money, it can drive a wedge between you and your partner. It can also cause financial stress since there’s no way to share, talk, or plan.
When you get married, you become one, and that includes money. What better way to get closer than to talk and talk about things like your household finances?
As I’ve said before, personal finance is very personal, but as a married couple, “personal” means the household, not just you as an individual. This also means that you and your spouse need to decide what money conversations mean for you guys and how it will work for your family.
My advice is to talk about your family finances on a regular basis and in a calm setting. Just like any other conversation in marriage, thinking about having this conversation shouldn’t make you feel more stressed. Some things to talk about are your dream, your financial goals, spending plan, how you plan to retire, etc.
Over the years, you’ll get a lot of stuff, but some of it will be precious like wedding rings, because you paid much money for them or because it means a lot to you. Either way, it’s a bad idea to leave important things vulnerable.
You won’t be happy if these items get stolen, lost, or broken, so it’s best to protect them as much as possible. Depending on the item, you may need to keep it in a safe or just be careful not to break it.
A household budget is very important for finance and marriage. A budget is a plan for your money, which means it looks to the future. As a couple, having a budget is one way to make sure your plans and goals are the same.
That means that if you don’t have a budget, your home’s finances can easily be a mess, and you don’t want that. The other side of that is having a budget that doesn’t work for both partners.
This can happen in two ways: either the type of budget doesn’t work for both partners, or the budget’s content doesn’t satisfy both partners. For example, if one partner has family members he or she would like to take care of or see often, the budget should reflect that
This goes back to the earlier point about having regular conversations. The best way to deal with this is to keep an open mind and keep changing and learning as a team until your money style and decisions are the same, both in terms of the type of budget you are using, the budget tool, and the budget line or content.
In finance and marriage If your budget shows you how to spend your money, your financial plan shows you how to get to where you want to be financially. Just give that some thought.
If you don’t have a financial plan, you don’t know what kind of future you want. What makes up a financial plan?
So easy, right? The plan shouldn’t be more than a page long. A financial plan makes money management much easier. It helps you face problems clearly and as a team, and most importantly, it helps you run your finances as a team (Joint finances).
This has nothing to do with having joint accounts because you can run your finances as a team whether you have separate accounts or a joint checking account.
A financial plan makes money management much easier
Many couples don’t have a will, which is a shame because, without a will, your affairs will be handled by the government after you die or when you can’t make decisions for yourself. Do you have that much faith that the government will make the best decision?
If you have young kids, one advantage of a will is that it helps you make plans for child care. If you die while your child or children are still young, a will tells professionals, like a financial advisor and lawyers what you want.
We’re not perfect, so in reality, marriage is the coming together of two flawed people who may have bad money habits. However, marriage is supposed to be a place where we can be naked with each other without fear of being judged.
Regarding finance and marriage, one goal should be to share more of ourselves with our partner, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. We should accept each other and grow together.
If it’s hard for you to talk about your money habits like your spending habits, I suggest you use your “money dates” to do so slowly, and it might not be a bad idea to think about bringing in a third party to help you through this process.
Imagine planning to buy a house with your partner and finding out that he or she has bad credit ratings and always maxes out multiple credit cards to pay for their lifestyle.
That’s not a good thing to find out about your partner, and even if it’s because of past money mistakes, it doesn’t feel right to find out when it seems like he or she can’t hide anymore.
This kind of bombshell causes money issues and rifts in marriages where it feels like trust has been broken, and it can take a long time to get that trust back sometimes.
If your budget shows you how to spend your money, your financial plan shows you how to get to where you want to be financially
I think that when you get married, you should have joint finances, but that doesn’t mean you have to have a joint bank account. Having joint finances is a good idea, but it’s even better to have a way for each person to handle some personal money, it’s like having a “me time”
This gives each person the freedom to spend what they want without worrying about what the other person thinks or does. However, this must be agreed upon by both people and changed as needed. Instead of a joint account, these funds should be accessed from their own, separate bank accounts.
I love this because it means my wife can surprise me.
You’ll make a lot of financial decisions in your life, but one of the most important ones has to do with finance and marriage: making sure that both partners have enough protection. The best way to do this is with a fully funded emergency fund and adequate term life insurance.
But one mistake that many couples make, maybe to save money, is to buy life insurance for only one partner. This is especially true when only one partner works and the other is a stay-at-home parent.
But we don’t think about what will happen with child care if the parent who stays home dies. How would the surviving partner pay for child care? It’s important that both parties have enough coverage.
When it comes to money and marriage, many people feel guilty, like they don’t deserve what they have. For example, a husband whose wife makes more than him can easily feel guilty about how much he spends, like he is doing something wrong.
REMEMBER that guilt is a huge weight that keeps you from being happy. You can’t change the past, but you can find out what caused it, this is the first step.
Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do about what is making me feel guilty now?” If so, try to be better, and if not, learn from that. This is the right way to deal with the feeling of guilt.
Many of the things I’ve told you before about your finance and marriage, like having an emergency fund and making a budget for your household expenses and long-term goals, will help you avoid this trap.
However, you have to do more than just act on these things; you have to have this idea ingrained in your mind, so it becomes a part of you and influences all the decisions you make, not just about your money.
Another example of this is taking steps to prepare and implement retirement plans, like investing in a tax-advantaged account like the ISA (Individual Savings Account) in the UK or building your credit scores so you get a good rate when you apply for a mortgage
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