Being on the same page with your spouse about money is a great way to get a clear picture of where you’re going.

Money can be a major source of conflict between married couples for example one spouse may spend extravagantly, while the other is extremely frugal.

This situation can also be worsened due to different situations like a spouse not working or one spouse earning more than the other, but you can only get through it as a team.

Table of Contents

Couples who have their finances in order reap long-term benefits. When you and your partner are on the same page with money, it leads to less stress and more happiness.

Today, we’ll look at how to get on the same page about money with your partner.

Dream together

Communication Communication Communication

Everything I’ll say here is based on communication; you can’t get on the same page about money if there is no healthy communication with your spouse.

If you need to seek assistance in building this aspect of your marriage, please do so because your marriage, not just the financial aspect, is at stake.

Here are some pointers to help you build effective communication in your marriage.

  • Make an effort to spend time together.
  • Make use of more “I” statements and fewer “You” statements.
  • Stay away from mind-reading.
  • Constructively express negative emotions
  • Always express positive emotions.
  • Don’t be a dictator.

This is not an exhaustive list, but a starting point.

Be honest about your emotions

how to get on the same page about money with your spouse

Some of the earlier tips mentioned feelings; you must understand that we all have feelings about money, including your spouse.

The goal here is, to be honest with each other about your feelings in order to gain an understanding of where your spouse is coming from.

This is a crucial step in answering the question of how to get on the same page with your spouse

Be open about how you feel when you think about discussing money with your partner. Why do you feel this way about this topic?

Make sure they understand that this isn’t necessarily their fault or something they’ve done wrong. Perhaps you had a negative experience with someone in the past

It’s a personal issue you want to address before you can move forward as a couple.

One way to begin this conversation is to express how you feel, followed by asking your partner how they feel, in that order.

  • Do they make you feel more or less confident?
  • Do they make you feel as if you can conquer the world or as if there’s no point in even trying?

Create a financial mission statement

This is essentially an agreement between you and your partner outlining how you and your partner want to handle money as a couple.

Finance rules of thumb

This written agreement

  • Outlines your values and goals with respect to money.
  •  includes information about how you will make financial decisions
  •  include your short- and long-term goals
  •  include some basic ground rules e.g always pay off our credit card balance at the end of every month or every expense above a certain amount both partners must agree

This step is essential in determining how to get on the same page with your spouse because it establishes expectations for how things will progress in the future.

With a financial mission statement in hand, there’s no need for lengthy discussions about what each of your values or where you want to go with your finances because that’s already been decided.

Here are a few examples:

We will share all financial information with each other, make all expenses together, and each of us will have a monthly personal spending allowance to use as we see fit.”

We want to be able to send our children to college while also retiring comfortably at the age of 65.”

We want to pay off our mortgage and other debts in ten years so that we can retire sooner.

We want to save enough money in five years to buy a house and start a family.”

I hope you noticed the word “WE,” because the goal is to do it together.

Your personal financial mission statement assists you in focusing on what is truly important with your money, making it easier to set goals, make decisions, and stay motivated in the long run.

Set life goals

When it comes to money, it’s not uncommon for couples to have opposing financial goals and priorities.

For example, one person may be concerned with saving for retirement while another is concerned with getting out of debt; or one person may wish to travel the world while their spouse wishes to purchase a home.

It’s difficult to get on the same financial page with your spouse if you don’t know what your partner’s personal goals are.

Discuss your short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals. Sitting down as a couple and planning out your life together can be a really exciting step.

In this step, you answer the question, “How do you want your life to be together?

First, each couple should write down their life goals or their ideal day or week, then compare and later form a master list for the family.

What do you want your life to look like as a couple?

You will both provide answers to the following questions when comparing and combining.

  • Where do our goals align?
  • How can the individual goal work together?
  • Where can each compromise?
  • What are the most important goals for you both?

Examine your present financial situation

Money date

Once you’ve decided on your life goals, the next step is to evaluate your current financial situation. This is an accurate assessment of your personal financial situation. Some questions to consider:

  • What are our earnings?
  • What are our outgoings?
  • What is the total amount of debt we owe?
  • How much savings do we have?
  • Is either of us concerned about our credit, such as a low credit score or negative items on our credit reports?
  • Do you have any financial obligations, such as child support, parents, and so on?
  • Are there any major purchases we want to make in the near future (for example, a house, a car, or a wedding)?

Bank statements, credit reports, and loan statements are some places to look for this information.

This may be awkward at first, but it is critical to have an open conversation about finances so that you can work toward the same goals.

Understand your spending habits

The logical next step after assessing your current situation is to interpret the data; what insights can you glean from the assessment?

  • Do you have a habit of spending more than you earn?
  • Do you like to splurge or save every penny?

Create a goal-based budget together

A household budget is essential for any couple, whether it’s a pen-and-paper budget, an online budgeting tool like YNAB or a spreadsheet

A budget is a plan for how you want to spend your money; it allows you to spend it on what is important to your family.

A budget is more than just numbers for a couple. It comes down to communication.

Begin by totaling your monthly income, then listing your essential expenses and calculating what’s left over for non-essentials.

I am a firm believer that your savings and investments are essential expenses, they should be the first thing you spend; this is known as paying yourself first.

It does not stop with creating a plan or budget; it also includes tracking that plan and making adjustments throughout the month.

how to get on the same page about money with your spouse

Keep expectations reasonable

Without reasonable expectations, the pressure on both of you will likely rise, making failures feel even more significant.

It will be difficult and time-consuming to answer the question of how to get on the same page with your spouse

Understand that you and your partner can get on the same page; it just won’t happen overnight. And that’s perfectly acceptable!

More tips

  • Grow together. Read books, watch videos, listen to podcasts on personal finance
  • Set up regular budget meetings with your spouse.
  • Make use of shared budgeting tools.
  • Make fun money a regular part of your budget.
  • Learn from one another
  • Fight for your partner’s dreams.

Bottom line

It takes effort, but couples can get on the same page when it comes to money.

It’s not always easy to get on the same page about money, After all, discussing money is unlikely to be anyone’s idea of a good time—but you might be surprised to learn that it can actually be quite simple. The key is to always communicate, and you’ll be fine.

Further Reading

how to get on the same page about money with your spouse